Waitangi Day Circle Line Pub Crawl 2007

To celebrate New Zealand’s national day, Waitangi Day we did the Circle Line Pub Crawl along with several thousand Kiwis living in London.

These days most Kiwis start at Paddington and head anti clockwise for eight stops until Westminster where there is a mass Haka on Parliament Square across the road from the houses of parliament. Interestingly in police state Britain it is now a criminal offence to protest in Parliament Square without a permit from the local cops. Luckily the cops are pretty good natured about the whole thing and they let us behave like twats without ruining everything.

Having completed the CLPC over ten times we consider ourselves experienced campaigners and we decided to do it old school starting from Baker Street (to avoid the crowds) and going clockwise stopping for a beer at every single one of the 27 tube stops. My memory failed me some time after Westminster but I have been reliably informed that we successfully completed the entire crawl, again. Legends.

The day started badly with me jumping on a tube heading in the wrong direction at the second stop. Other than that the only mishap was Russell who took a running jump down a dozen stairs and is now on crutches.

MOVING TO SWISS COTTAGE

The good news is that in the next two months I am going to York, New York (which used to be called New Amsterdam) and Amsterdam. If only Amsterdam was once called New Kiev and Kiev was once called New Ohio all my travel would be linked by their names.

The bad news is that I am moving out of my flash South London flat as our lease is up and my flatmates want to find somewhere cheaper. So if anyone knows of a really sheltered bridge somewhere near a cardboard box factory please drop me a line.

How I could tell that I overslept this morning

  1. There was natural light in my room when I woke. Not a good sign at this time of year
  2. I got up of my own accord without cursing my alarm
  3. The house alarm went off when I left my room
  4. My flatmates rooms were empty
  5. The water in the shower was cold and had to be run to warm up
  6. The house was completely empty
  7. The first train I could catch was 6 minutes away and was third in line
  8. But perhaps most tellingly the main reason I could tell that I had overslept was: My boss’s boss who made a big fuss over my being late yesterday is sitting opposite all week :(

LIFE IS A LOTTERY

I read yesterday that that the bombers only killed 52 people of the three million people who use London transport every day. That’s pretty good odds.

Much better odds than the thousands who have taken to riding bicycles to work. London roads put 4,500 of them in hospital every year.

The Mayor of London, Red Ken, has started up a One London campaign to show that the people of London are united against the bombers.

London Logo

IRONIC JUSTICE

Apparently the guys who tried and failed to blow up the tube on Thursday think that their imaginary super being will give them 1000 virgins to pleasure themselves with after they die. This is quite funny because if they get caught and end up in an English jail they may find they get quite the opposite.

TACKLES COMPLETED: 0

I woke this morning to the news that after failing to detonate their bombs all four bombers actually managed to run away from the scene of the crime through large crowds of stunned Londoners. Those of you who saw the recent British Lions rugby tour of New Zealand won’t be too surprised to hear that it seems that almost no one in this country can make a decent tackle.

My friend Phil Stevens suggested that we should man the tube with old All Blacks. I’m damned sure that after Buck Shelford put in a decent spear tackle that Richard Lowe wouldn’t mind putting a few fingers in the bombers eyes and the like. If we really wanted to get freaky on their arses we could call on the services of John Hopoate.

BOMBERS HIT AGAIN

Today at three the bombers hit London again. Thankfully these bombers seem to be about as competent as The Three Stooges and early reports suggest that no one was seriously hurt.

My Journey home looks shiteI really can’t make up my mind between walk bus train walk bus walk or walk bus walk bus train walk bus walk or even walk bus walk bus train walk bus walk. On the face of things bus train walk bus walk looks like it might be the go but if everyone else thinks the same thing then it almost certainly won’t be. I have a suspicious feeling that I might end up taking the walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk option.