Earlier this month my girlfriend of nearly four years got back from three months in Africa and told me that our long term plans to move to Australia, get married and have babies had changed. More specifically she was still planning to do it but I am no longer invited. Dumped. Bugger.

Today my boss took me out and bought me a coffee. She told be that my contract would be ending in March. Fired. Bugger.

The point is that now I have lost my girl and my job my life is starting to resemble a country and western song. If I had a dog or a bible I would be watching them very closely. Instead I will be keeping a close eye on my laptop (trusty companion) and my copy of Bill Bryson’s, A Short History of Nearly Everything (probably the best book on science ever written).


Having made quite a few trips to the post office recently I have had many an hour in long queues to ponder ways that they post office could reduce the size of it’s queues.

Ignoring the obvious idea of employing more people at busy times … I though the best idea would be to have a machine that could handle regular postal duties.


The Hubbers Postmachine 3000tm is an all in one weighing, payment processing, stamping and package collecting machine that could be installed in post offices and other postal outlets all over the country.

The first part of the HP3000tm (might need to have a word with Hewlett-Packard about the name) is a weighing shelf to weigh the package. A touch screen would allow the customer to select destination, postage type etc. The machine would then take payment from a credit or debit card. Finally any stamps or stickers (airmail, customs declarations) that are needed could be printed. The customer would then place these stickers on their package and drop the package into a slot on the machine or a larger collection area elsewhere in the post office.

The machine could even be programmed to deal with other day-to-day post office tasks like collecting bill payments, selling foreign currency, selling insurance or issuing forms etc.

Every post office would have several of the HP3000tm that would operate alongside some regular chair moisteners post office workers who could specialise in larger packages or more complicated enquires.

Stop Press!!! They Stole My idea!!!

I saw this in the Post Office on Saturday 4th of October . It’s bigger than I would have built it and it looks like it was designed by students in a woodwork class at high school but it’s basically the same idea. Also I bet it doesn’t let you do all the other things I thought of like bills and currency :)

Hubbers Postmaster 3000 rip-off!


My other good idea I have had recently is “mustard cheese”?. I think this would be a really cracking flavour if done well. I have found one place that sells Mustard Cheddar on-line and when the Mutarde (Rachel) gets back from Africa I will ask her if she thinks it is any good.

Responsible Spending

I saw this staggering statistic about English public spending in the latest issue of Money Week.

If public spending had only grown in line with inflation since 1997, we could have abolished income tax, corporation tax, capital-gains tax and inheritance tax, leaving the taxpayer £200bn better off.

Governments have gotten very rich in the ten years of financial boom prior to the onset of the credit crunch. In the UK the Labour government has managed to spend it all and nothing was put aside for leaner times like um a global credit crunch.

I suspect people will look back on the UK governments fiscal looseness during the boom and wonder whether they were mad, drunk, on crack or all of the above.

Yesterday I rode past a dead cyclist in Holborn

Just after 9am yesterday morning I rode through the intersection of Southampton Row and High Holborn as I do on the way to work every day.

Yesterday the intersection was surrounded by police who had a white tent set up and were filming the intersection. Rather ominously a large white lorry parked half way around the corner of Southampton Row and High Holborn. I chatted with another cyclist about what the likely reason for the white tent was. He suggested it was probably another stabbing as the UK is having an epidemic of them at the moment.

I forgot about it until today when I saw this newspaper banner outside my office in Holborn.

Holborn: Cyclist Dies in Lorry Crash (Evening Standard)

This is the full article form the Evening Standard. Cyclist killed in lorry collision is the second victim in a week

Time Team are filming in Chancery Lane

The British archeology show called Time Team are digging across the road from my office on Chancery Lane.

Phil Harding was at the dig site on several occasions but there was no sign of Tony Robinson (Baldrick).

I asked one of the crew what they were digging for and he said “old buildings”. Well that is certainly a surprise then usually they just look for broken pots.

Time Team filming at Chancery Lane

Dans le Noir

As part of my birthday weekend celebration Rachel organised a meal at a French restaurant where the room you eat in is completely dark and the waiting staff are all blind. The food was great but the novelty value was excellent.

When you arrive at the restaurant you are asked to put your valuables and anything that might emit light like mobiles and cameras into lockers. Then you are organised into a line with your right arm on the shoulder of the person in front of you and the waiter leads you into the pitch black dining room and navigates you to your table. At the table you have to orientate yourself and those around you to the space around you. We shared a table with a group of random Aussies and before Rachel realised this she called out to the waitress that she thought she was on the wrong table. Once orientated we realised that we were all yelling at each other. Something about losing one sense made us amplify the others to compensate I guess. Eating and drinking was also a challenge as we couldn’t see what we were doing. Of critical importance was organising the distribution of the red and white wine and not mixing them up. The end result was a fair bit of spilled wine and people who wore white shirts feeling silly. At some stage we were delivered additional wine that we didn’t order (and thus didn’t have to pay for) so it all worked out in the end :)

All in all a fun night with good food. The French staff were poorly organised and often rude which just added to the hilarity of the evening.

This is my best photo of the evening.

Dans le Noir

May Day is now “RSS Awareness Day”

As they say on the rssday.org site:

RSS (Really Simple Syndication) is a format used to deliver information from websites and pages that get updated regularly. An RSS document (which is called feed) contains either a summary or the full content from a website.

The main benefit of RSS is that it enables people to stay connected with their favorite websites without having to visit them. Once you subscribe to a particular RSS feed, you will automatically receive updates from the website that publishes the feed, whenever they release new content. The video below illustrates the process.

RSS Awareness Day

The previous owners of “May Day” the communists and other hard core lefties had a march outside my offices in Holborn London in protest.

May Day march in Holborn, London


This morning I got up at 4am and rode to Hyde Park Corner to participate in the Australian and New Zealand Army Core dawn service to commemorate the Aussie and Kiwi soldiers who have gone to war for their countries. The service starts at dawn to match the time that the ANZACs first hit Gallipoli beach in Turkey 93 years ago. Eight months of bitter military stalemate later 2721 New Zealand, 8709 Australian, 33,072 British, 10,000 French and 87,000 Turkish soldiers were dead.

New Zealand has had worse days while fighting for King and country but the Gallipoli campaign was the first.

In 1914, New Zealand’s population was just over one million. When the war began 124,211 men joined up and 100,444 went overseas. This was a staggering 10 percent of NZ’s population. 40% of all men aged between 18 and 45 signed up. Per capita New Zealand made the largest contribution to World War 1.

The last ANZAC dawn service I attended in London was on a hungover Saturday morning in 1998 just after I first arrived in London. That service was at an Australian memorial in Battersea Park and only a few dozen people turned up to hear legendary Australian orator Clive James speak. From memory he talked about how modern historian’s views about the Gallipoli campaign had changed and as he was saying what they had changed to a slow low flying plane flew over and I missed it all.

Today’s service at the new New Zealand memorial on Hyde Park Corner was attended by a much larger crowd as ANZAC commemorations seem to be undergoing something of a global revival. This service was a much more religious affair with lots of prayers and songs to Jesus the so called “prince of peace” etc. I guess it’s hard to tell young men to run towards machine guns if they don’t believe they will go to a better place when it inevitable goes badly wrong for them.

ANZAC Dawn Service Hyde Park Corner 2008

None of my Aussie/Kiwi mates who said they would come actually made the early start. Excuses included: sleeping, over-sleeping laziness trumping patriotism and just getting back from Nam.